what drives you

If at any point you felt offended or annoyed, please close the tab/page. I don’t want to be held accountable, I don’t even care.

So they ask you: what drives you?

What do you say?

I say passion.

Listen to this.

I have a [stupid] heart made up of doors. Every door has a label, and I have a marker ready at all times with me. I fall in love in a week, and my marker labels a door behind which I put the new victim. The latter might be as small as a book or a brownie, all the way to being a person or an ideology.

A week. Weak, right?

Let me tell you why it isn’t.

I haven’t been the perfect person, and I have never wanted to be. I always did it my way, not because being stubborn attracts attention, neither because it is rebellious. I don’t give a darn, I don’t lead and wait for others to follow, I don’t create trends, I don’t follow trends. I only try to live, in a world where what everyone is doing is merely “survive.”

It rips me to pieces, not because I’m me. I’m proud of me, and I know all my flaws. It rips me to pieces because everyone thinks I’m wrong. Just because you and I are different doesn’t mean one of us is right and the other is, automatically, wrong. Not at all. What are they raising you to become? Look at what you say, read, tweet, think, blog, type, blab and argue. Listen to yourself. Never in my course of twenty-three years have I forced you to love anything. Why are you forcing me to love you? To love what you love? To love who you love, who you follow, who you listen to, who you read for?

I’ve been put to test lately with four – let me describe them as – ordeals being pushed my way. I am not handling them in my best ways, and they are definitely not what I expected. At least three of them were a total surprise.

What am I doing about it? Right now, nothing. And I have no idea why. Am I too tired of fighting and just taking a break? It might be that.

I’ve been faced with the “you deserve better” answer for so long. In everything that I’ve done, that everyone else hasn’t liked, they have replied with this.

Who sets the standards for this “better” that I “deserve”?
Says who I am not happy with what I have that there is something “better” that I “deserve”?

Fighting is a blessing. Not everyone can or knows how to do this.

I can fight. Not for long, I know and not for everything, of course.

I am driven by passion. No matter how you try to convince me that I “deserve better,” if I am passionate about what I have, am doing, want to do have/do, you cannot change my mind. If this thing that I am attached to is being a labelled door, with a marker, I doubt I will change my mind about it.

Find your passion. And leave us, the passionate, to their doors. 

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