this one man

I am not perfect friends with him, we don’t spend time together, we don’t speak everyday, but:

Today, something interesting happened.
There is this topic that happened to be the only topic I don’t discuss with anyone but him, and I encountered, at around 7 pm, an incident related to that topic. I went to Whatsapp and typed to him “Remember before when I used to nag about [this topic] to you? You do realize that I still cannot nag to anyone but you, right?” When he replied “Sure!” I knew I was talking to the ear that listened always. I talked to him about whatever the issue was. And that made me stop and think, why this man?

We met less than a year ago, and it was not in person. He was living abroad, working in Dubai at that time, tackling a, let’s say, not so very amazing life. I know everyone thinks Dubai is the destination to be/live/work in, but it all depends on what you do there, where you stay, whether you own a car or not, and how high the salary is. That is all apart from whether your family is there too, or they are living in your homeland and you are abroad alone. We talked for a period of a bit less than three months before he came back here. During those three months, I do not recall hearing him nag. He knew that where he landed was not where he wanted to be, and he knew that life was hiding something bigger and more fascinating to him than a well-paid job with a pms-ing female boss, but that’s besides the point. Those three months were not so smooth for me either because I was a 10 am to 4 am worker, I did major office work during the day, and spent the night on the rooftop of our office’s building preparing it for a massive party for the company. I nagged a lot back then, and he always listened. I nagged about the amount of work I was doing, about the people I worked with, about friends blaming me for being distant, about my eating habits, about everything, and he always listened and pushed me to do better at whatever it was that I had been doing. I perfectly recall one night that he was e-attending an event I was in (through livestream), and that was the night he had to make a major decision in. Usually in life when you hear about an opportunity for you to come back to your homeland, start your own thing, live with your friends around you, and be happier than you are now, you feel motivated and give all that you have to make it happen. But when it’s time to click the “Yes I’m gonna do this” button, you start thinking twice. Am I doing the right thing? The risk of this thing working out is higher, but what if it didn’t? Am I putting my amazing stable job behind me, to leave to something unknown? Will I be able to fully support myself? And because we were both in that event, him as an attendee, and myself as an organizer, I had to support him and be there, while still looking after all the attendees. The event was on the rooftop, and I could neither leave my tasks nor ditch him. So, I took a cigarette and a beer, and sat behind a huge pile of rocks with my phone in hand. I lit the cigarette, sipped the beer, and typed all the motivational sentences I could think of. I reminded him of what was waiting for him, and what his chances were. I promised him that everything was going to be perfectly fine, even though I wasn’t sure of that. I told him how much I loved him, believed in him, and trusted that he was able to do this to the very end. I put off my cigarette, put away my beer, went back to my tasks, but all what I could think of was “is he going to back off and say he cannot do this?” Day passed like they were weeks, work load increased, and on his side, he was supposed to be arriving on the dawn of the 25th of August. I was working much more, he gave YES as his final answer and started working on his application and “evacuating” his Dubai life. On August 19, a very hot Saturday afternoon, I told my best friend Lucy that I was gonna finish work early and hit the streets of Hamra to see her. We ended up meeting and as we were making our way to Cle, my phone beeps. “What would make your day?” he asked. “A photo,” I replied, being perfectly honest because of my love for photographs. He sends me this:
And I still, up to this day, don’t know what kind of attack I faced. It wasn’t an anxiety one, but I squeaked and smiled and suffocated and then smiled again. He was not only accomplishing the YES, he was also coming on that specific night!

Every once in a while, I remember how I first talked to him, and how half of the things we said were not even significant. He is so very special it hurts when someone says “him? No man he’s a showoff!” Oh well, he does things his own way… This one man is the answer to my “who is going to be here?”

I love him, he is exquisite.


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