I’m emotional and I know it *clap clap*

“When men have problems, studies show that they look to find ways to solve them. Women on the other hand, would rather discuss how a troubling situation makes them feel. Obvious problems arise, then, when there is a difference in intention when approaching such issues. This means that when your lady is in trouble, guys should do their best to keep in touch with their emotions instead of just forging ahead with a plan.”

I am a typical example.

I’m emotional down to the bones. And what bothers me the most is that people tend to think I am tougher than I am, so they probably assume I can handle anything they toss towards me. Truth is, I think (and overthink) almost everything around me, and unintentionally.

How many times have your friends asked you to care more?
My friends ask me to care less.

I really can’t care less. Try telling me I have a headache when we’re texting for example. I will ask you why, suggest remedies, listen to you and check up on you the next day. Try texting me while driving. I will tell you to put your phone away, and ask you to let me know when you’re home. I may only say “good” after you tell me you’re home, but I got what I wanted, to know you’re safe.

What makes you stay up all night thinking, a sweet compliment or harsh criticism?
Both keep me up.

So basically this is why I don’t sleep much. It’s because I’m always out with someone, be it friend, cousin, sibling, date, boyfriend, best friend, counselor. And that someone will most probably (just for the sake of not saying “without doubt”) toss a compliment or a piece of criticism. It’s not that I cannot handle either. Actually, I might surprise you by how well I can, but I will think about it. A lot.

Do you ever sit alone and think “wow, if only I could sip coffee and chit-chat with *insert very old and random friend name here*?”
I do.

Do you want me to name them? I’ll try: Reham, Safi, Wael, Mahmoud, Rami, Maroun, Lana, Mira, Tania, Rawad, Nader… and the list goes on. And it’s not just I think of having a coffee with one of them, it’s that I try to imagine how their life is now, if they’re happy, what they’re working and so on…

It’s not easy to be emotional, it’s not easy to control it, it’s not easy to fail at controlling it and keep trying, it’s not east to fully realize you’re emotional. This, alone, is stressful enough.
Should I change or should I not is not a matter I wish to discuss with anyone random; it’s a personal decision and I would rather take that myself.

I only want you to know that I know I am, and that it is hard to be.

 

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